The Challenges of Split Nights
- Mar 18, 2024
- 3 min read
I get SO many parents coming to me in pieces because their little one is waking up at 2 or 3am every day and staying awake for several hours. This is called a split night and they are crippling (been there, done that!). What invariably happens is that the baby then falls asleep in the early hours and naps for the day become out of sync. This can go on for days, weeks or even months.
For parents, the effect of split nights can be devastating, especially if you have work or other children to be up for the next morning.
Babies and toddlers are often quite happy during this long wake up. You might hear them chatting to themselves in their cot, clapping and pulling themselves up. After a while, however, they may begin to get bored and will call out to you.
Split nights tend to happen when a child’s body clock (circadian rhythm) is out of alignment with their sleep pressure (which makes them feel tired).
So, what causes split nights?
Well, a few different things can cause split nights, some of which I will discuss below…
To much sleep in the day
If your little one is napping a lot in the day, it can be the case that they are simply not tired enough to stay asleep all night. So they fall asleep fairly easily, but in the early hours they will not have enough sleep hormone (melatonin) to stay asleep, or to fall back to sleep if they wake.
This can happen if your child is ready to transition to fewer or shorter naps or even cut out daytime naps completely if they are older.
Some of the more obvious cues that this is the case include if they are struggling to fall asleep at nap time, or you are having to make nap time later. If this is the case, it might be time to look at a nap transition.
Not enough sleep in the day
As contradictory as it sounds, not having enough sleep in the day can actually make sleeping through harder for your little one, causing multiple wakings and/or split nights. This is because when your child is overtired, their bodies work hard to stay awake by producing more cortisol, aka, our ‘awake’ hormone.
Developmental milestones
Cognitive and physical development is extremely rapid in the first few years of a child’s life and this can mean periods of disrupted sleep. It is good to bear in mind that sometimes night waking is a normal, healthy part of your child’s growing up. Nearly everything is a phase, so remember, it will pass!
But if you are experiencing split nights with your child, there are things you can do to optimise their sleep and ensure their bodies are in sync.
One of the very first things I ask my clients do when we are trying to unpick the reason for split nights is to complete a week long sleep diary. And without piling too much on an already tired and exhausted parent, it also helps to have an idea about what their little one is eating and drinking and how active they are each day too.
It might be that the daytime routine needs tweaking a little. This could mean adding or taking away a nap, moving naps times around or changing wake up and bed times.
Sometimes parents leave too long a gap between the last nap and bedtime, usually in the hopes that they little one will sleep better. In fact, this can have the opposite effect.
Look at your child’s bedtime routine. Is it consistent? How long is it? Are you starting it at the right time for your child? Having a distinct routine in place, which is the same every night, will help your child understand it is soon time for their long overnight sleep. Pick a routine and bedtime that suits your family and stick with it.
Carefully consider how you respond when your child wakes in the night. Many parents understandably feel they should immediately rush in, but if your title one does not appear upset, hold back a little and wait. Often they will play for a while and then resettle themselves back to sleep. Going straight in and rocking, feeding or other similar responses can create a new, and unwanted habit.
If you need help deciphering the cause of your child’s split nights, please do book in with me for a FREE consultation. I can help you to look at the possible reasons behind your child’s wake ups and offer some suggestions going forward. And if you feel you need more support, I can guide you through a structured plan to get you on the right track towards better sleep for the whole family.
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