What is Gentle Sleep Training?
- Oct 9, 2023
- 3 min read
Sleep training is a very controversial topic. Not surprisingly, many people associate sleep training with the harsher, Cry it Out (CIO) methods, however, gentle sleep training is very different.
The idea with gentle sleep training (or, as I like to call it, sleep shaping) is to go slowly and responsively, one step at a time, until the overall sleep goal is achieved.
Say, for example, your toddler will only fall asleep if fed and rocked, but you have a new baby who also needs your attention at bedtime. You decide your older child now needs to learn to fall asleep independently in their cot.
Anything that helps a child fall asleep is known as a sleep association. It is not wrong to rock and/or feed your child to sleep. We all do what is necessary at the time to comfort and nurture our children, however, sometimes, such as in the example above, habits which have been formed because they were needed at one stage, can become unhelpful and need to change. It is at this point they become a 'negative' sleep association.
With gentle, holistic sleep training, the first step in the above scenario might involve actually adding in a new sleep association, this time one which can easily be transferred to the cot, such as a gentle “shh” or a soft, repetitive pat.
Once baby is used to the new sleep prop, the original 'negative' sleep associations can be removed, one at a time. So, first the parent might choose to stop feeding to sleep and, once baby is used to that, the rocking can also stop. The new sleep props (“shh”, pat) can continue but the next step is to place baby in their cot. Once used to settling in the cot with the hands on help of pat, baby can start to get used to going to sleep with just the reassuring “shh”.
The point is, gentle sleep training involves a number of phases, through which you gradually change baby’s sleep habits, so they cry less and increase their independence. Gentle sleep training is especially helpful for babies and children who struggle with change. And my gentle, holistic methods are perfect for parents and carers who would prefer a minimal cry strategy. Gentle sleep training can be used for children of any age.
I recommend several gentle sleep training approaches and work with parents and carers to devise a personalised plan to suit their individual needs. Most of the families I work with love the methods I use, however, it is important to go into a programme with the understanding that gentle sleep training takes a lot more commitment than some of the more traditional, harsher techniques. Patience and dedication are critical.
What Else Should I Know About Gentle Sleep Training?
Although in the long term gentle sleep training is just as effective as methods which involve more crying, it will take longer for improvements to be seen. This will typically be weeks rather than days.
A step-by-step plan is essential, along with sleep diaries and a very clear idea of what you are aiming for. If you don’t have these in place before you start, it can be easy to get stuck. It will also be very hard to monitor progress and/or identify if there is a problem. This is why it can help to work with a sleep consultant, like myself, who will provide an easy to follow, night-by-night programme. To avoid overwhelm and confusion, I also ensure I am on hand to personally guide my clients through the process.
What if I cannot afford several weeks worth of support and guidance?
Please do not let financial worries put you off working with me. I can offer a custom programme of support, with fixed, pay monthly or pay-as-you-go finance options. If there is nothing to suit you on my website, please do still get in touch and we can work together to ascertain your best options going forward.
Are you ready to start your sleep shaping journey? Book a Discovery Call today and we can discuss how I can help you.
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